The art of boasting.

One of my dad’s friend’s daughter got into an elite college of Delhi. That is a fortunate fate. I’m really happy for her!  Good for her that her life’s coming together. They have limited seats and only for a bunch of nerd prodigies. Not every Kejriwaal gets a second chance and not every student gets that college, I mean at least those people aren’t stupid. It’s understandable if you’re a close relative who can’t stop gushing about their family success, but what is it with random once-in-a-blue –moon Uncles coming and rubbing it all over the party?

Google explains boasting to be an act of excessive frivolous self-appreciation. Surely Google hasn’t grasped the essence of boasting as well as Facebook. There is a point up to which it can be called ‘sharing’ but then lose that last tip of modesty, Bingo! Welcome to Boastpur. What’s even more hysterical is that there exists a sect of our humongous population who love to feed off of it. It’s like a food chain that intertwines the base and tip of the triangle. It’d be really decent if they’d give TED talks to the Public Distribution System, we’d all benefit from it.

Indians and boasting go a long way back. And if you want a first-hand experience of the great Indian boasting, then go look out for those cheesy arrange-marriage proposals and meet ups. They take boasting to the next ludicrous level. A tall, very fair and very handsome, thirty-year-old looking for a well-educated wife. This is too much. First thing, on what parameters are you able to compare that this prospective person is actually ‘very’ handsome? He could be little handsome or just a bit handsome or maybe just handsome. I bet if we start hunting all these matrimonial advertisement prospects, ninety percent of the descriptions given in the advertisement would be miles away from the actual features. Second thing, what’s the use of swanking about your minimal features and qualifications if there isn’t much weight to it? If there is actually something about you or your achievements that holds weight, then that will be its own lawyer. You won’t need to ‘My Lord’ around it.

What inspired me to write about boasting, are those super advanced and sophisticated advertisements of certain news channels, that give some flashy percentages, claiming to have the most number of viewers.  Well, to be honest, monogamy is a myth today. People don’t and never pledge to watch only your particular channel with utter dedication and commitment. Everyone loves choices and would definitely love to exercise them, at least wherever they can. So please, for the love of God, stop boasting that your channel is number one. And also, this isn’t smart advertisement. They basically ask the audience to follow the sheep trail.

Another ardent practitioner of this trait is our very dear politicians. Politicians and boasting are like Siamese twins, inseparable. We have reached a certain point in our evolution as a society that it doesn’t bother anyone, as to how shamelessly our politicians keep blowing their own trumpet, which comprises probably just one percent of their actual assurances.

This doesn’t even end here. Our lives are so conjoined with this art, it’s impossible to not implement it. If you closely look at job interviews, they basically ask you to boast with sheer modesty, which is given the mask of confidence. To be honest, it’s too hard to even not be a part of it. I’d probably boast of not liking to be a part of someone’s self-appreciation, but then in the end I’d probably end up eavesdropping. So its fine, I guess. We do have the freedom of speech. The listeners might as well listen at their own risk.